Podcast
Welcome to the Illuman Podcast, where we explore themes of spiritual transformation, inner work, and authentic masculinity. Join us as we dive into topics like Rites of Passage, Council practice, personal growth, connection, and service to the world. Rooted in Illuman's mission of fostering wholeness and radical belonging, this podcast invites men to walk a path of healing, vulnerability, and generative leadership. Whether you're new to Illuman or deeply immersed in the journey, these conversations are for you.
Podcast Episodes
In this moving conversation, we sit down with Matthew Lyda—a brother within the Illuman community whose fierce tenderness and grounded presence invite others into deeper authenticity. At just 39, Matthew brings a rare self-awareness, offering reflections on his Men’s Rites of Passage, the unspoken grief many young men carry, and the sacred call to heal.
Together, we explore the contours of masculinity today—its distortions and its potential. From flaccid strength to the archetypal boundaries of Gandalf, from deep male friendship to interfaith wonder, Matthew reflects on what it means to live from belovedness in a fractured world. We also delve into how the Journey of Illumination, Council Circles, and Illuman’s interspiritual community have shaped his path and leadership.
Whether you’re a seasoned elder or a young man awakening to your own story, this episode is a soulful offering of grief, play, presence, and hope. Tune in to hear how the sacred masculine is not about dominance or denial, but about integration, service, and love.
In this expansive and tender conversation, we sit down with Gustavo Santos—a Brazilian-born theologian, immigrant, and fellow sojourner on the path of deep masculine transformation. With warmth, clarity, and vulnerability, Gustavo reflects on his journey from the boardrooms of São Paulo to the wooded trails of British Columbia, tracing how migration, faith, and ancestral identity have shaped his understanding of what it means to be a man.
Together, we explore the cultural contours of masculinity—from the survival-based bravado of mockery among Brazilian men to the healing power of Council and spiritual brotherhood. Gustavo speaks honestly about stepping into his own belovedness, unlearning performative strength, and discovering a “strong kindness” that now anchors his life and leadership.
We also hear how his experience at Illuman’s Men’s Rites of Passage opened up an unmediated encounter with the Divine, one that reshaped his theology, identity, and calling. This is an episode about descent and rising, about shedding masks and remembering who we’ve always been. Whether you're reimagining your story or walking with others on theirs, Gustavo’s voice is a soulful guide for the road ahead.
In this honest and heartfelt episode, we sit down with T. Michael Rock—a pastor, community builder, and longtime Illuman leader from the Twin Cities—who shares his profound journey from performance to presence. With warmth and humility, T. Michael opens up about the ways striving shaped his life for years, and how vulnerability, love, and spiritual brotherhood are guiding him toward a fuller, freer way of being.
Together with host Ned Abenroth, they explore what happens when a man lays down the armor of expectation and embraces his inherent belovedness. Through stories rooted in pastoral life, family, and the Men’s Rites of Passage, T. Michael reflects on the power of showing up with consistency and grace—both for others and for himself.
This conversation touches on the evolution of masculinity, the integration of masculine and feminine energies, and the ways we can return to ourselves through community and spiritual practice. T. Michael’s story is one of healing and transformation—a testament to the beauty of masculine love grounded in Spirit, not performance.
In this honest and grounded episode, we sit down with Markku Kostamo—a nonprofit leader, mental health advocate, and Illuman brother from British Columbia. Markku shares his journey with bipolar disorder and the grief that shaped his path toward healing. With striking vulnerability, he reflects on how ritual, nature, and spiritual brotherhood have helped him move from performance to presence.
Together with host Ned Abenroth, they explore the layered work of recovery, the sacredness of unspoken grief, and the way ancestral trauma lives in the body. Markku speaks with clarity and tenderness about the courage it takes to be fully human, and the surprising beauty that can emerge when we allow ourselves to be seen and held.
This conversation is an invitation into the deeper work—where wounds become wisdom, and descent becomes a path to belovedness.
In this raw and courageous episode, Dean—a father, Illuman brother, and longtime 12-step leader—shares the story of his descent into trauma, addiction, and abandonment, and the long road toward healing and sacred presence. With vulnerability and grit, he speaks about early wounds of feeling unseen, years spent surviving on the streets, and the deep inner work that followed.
With host Ned Abenroth, Dean reflects on how the Men’s Rites of Passage helped break open his heart and how voice, wilderness, and even ravens became unexpected guides in his recovery. He names what many are afraid to: that the hardest part of healing isn’t always surviving the streets—but facing ourselves with honesty, grief, and compassion.
This conversation carries both the weight of suffering and the invitation to transformation. Dean’s story is a testament to the power of community, spiritual practice, and the quiet courage it takes to stop running and begin again.
In this tender and luminous episode, Jeffrey Batstone joins host Ned Abenroth to share a sacred story of loss, love, and the power of presence at life’s threshold. Following the death of his mother, Jeffrey recounts how his family chose to meet her passing not with fear or avoidance—but with beauty, reverence, and embodied ritual.
Together, they reflect on what it means to honor the body even in death, how grief becomes praise when held in ceremony, and why not all holy things require scripts or sanctuaries. Through washing, blessing, and simply being present, Jeffrey’s story reveals that death—when welcomed with open hearts—can become a teacher.
More than a conversation, this episode is a quiet offering: a reminder that even in sorrow, there is still love; and even in goodbye, there can be grace. It is an invitation to let grief do its work, and to trust the rituals that rise from within.